Ambivalence Par Excellence

“Of all possible subjects, why did you have to go and write a book about THAT?” Perplexed and repelled in equal measure, that was more than one person’s reaction to my writing a hospice career memoir. Another good fellow’s reaction along the same lines was, “Who would want to read stories about people who were about to drop dead?” He believes that Encountering the Edge would only interest chaplains and such. No doubt about it. Some people I know make dead sure I get their drift.

On the other extreme, before I started the book, I got comments like “You should write a book about that.” After I finished it, others said, “That title is sure a grabber.” And, “We need more books like that to get this subject out in the open.” Naturally these are more to my liking, but I think most people coming across the subject of hospice will experience elements of both reactions: Curious but wary. Intrigued but repulsed. And so it is with death in general. While it is the greatest mystery to ponder, the very consideration of it can evoke fear, dread, and other lovelies.

Ambivalence was the challenge before me: How to get a prospective reader to at least glance at the back cover and peer at the opening pages? If I could get him/her to do that, I would have it made… Well, at least I’d have a fighting chance they would not sprint away from the book. My solution was to address the ambivalence at the outset. Here is an excerpt of what I mean from the Introduction:

“Throughout my seven-year career of encountering people at death’s door, friends and family have puzzled over my offbeat choice of career. ‘Isn’t it depressing? Doesn’t it get you down?’ easily takes first place for most frequently asked questions. Other top contenders I get include, ‘What do people near the end want to talk about and what do you say to them? What wisdom do they share? Come crunch time, what do they really believe will happen to them? How do they cope with knowing their time is near?’ One of my own favorites, which even the patients themselves ask, is ‘Why do you want to do this kind of work?’ (Read: ’Why on earth would you want to? You must be a little strange.’)”

“…But then again, you may be curious about how my visits with people from all walks of life have shaped my beliefs about the meaning of life and the nature of the afterlife. You might wonder what you would witness if you could invisibly accompany me on my visits. You might wonder what it is like to constantly improvise how to respond depending on the patient’s personality, mood, presence of family or of medical professionals, ethnic and racial background, and even socioeconomic level.”

“…The aim of each anecdote in this book is to portray how the moments in question were adventurous, inspiring, meaningful, perplexing, or otherwise authentic to those present. As you peruse these tales, you may in turn have these reactions, or at least get a glimpse into a time of life that was a fertile ground for the patient’s search for meaning and for the affirmation of what each valued most.”


For another free excerpt from the book,  plus a view of a gorgeous cover to uh, “die for,” you can go to the publisher’s author page at this link:     Inquiries about reviewing the book are most welcome.


2 thoughts on “Ambivalence Par Excellence

  1. I can’t wait, Karen – I shall be scouring And now I am looking forward to compassionate science fiction (without swords or murderous robots!!).


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.