The Rosary And The Rabbi

It was not a promising start. I had left a voicemail in Spanish with a new patient on hospice and her family. The patient’s daughter sent me a text message in Spanish saying I could visit whenever I wished. I called back, and after I said in my obviously flawed Spanish who I was and that I could come now, she said, “I don’t understand English.” Yikes. Was my Spanish all that bad?

But when I replied that I was speaking in Spanish to her, she giggled and the conversation at last had a future, however fragile it might be. So I considered it a victorious leap past the communication barrier when she agreed that I could come over right away.

The patient, who I will call Margarita, was seated on the couch, and her daughter Gabriela sat next to her as she put my Spanish comprehension to the test with a complex story of woe. A couple of other family members were present as well. I then turned to her mother, who had not said anything or even looked at me much during this lament. Because Gabriela mentioned that Margarita went to Spanish Mass at a church around the corner, I asked her mother if she would like a prayer. It just so happens I come prepared with prayers written in Spanish for such visits, including a prayer for caregivers (which caregivers sometimes scan into their phones because they like it so much), and the prayer for the Rosary. Margarita found it worthwhile to tune in to me and take the energy to communicate since I brought out the magic word Rosary as one of the prayers I had on hand. At my request, the family found a set of white rosary beads for her to hold.

I felt comfortable enough saying the words themselves of this prayer in these circumstances, but as a rabbi I could not make the sign of the Cross or say “amen,” so I felt I first had to let on that  I was not Catholic, but not only that, I was–were they ready for this?– Jewish. This only added further spice to the spectacle of a gringa like me with fractured Spanish reciting a prayer of utmost sanctity alien to her own beliefs. But they were alright with this, grateful for a spiritual presence that could cut through their linguistic isolation at this time of acute need. As I started to say the words, “En el nombre del Padre, del Hijo, y del Espiritu Santo…” I saw that Margarita could say much of the Rosary by herself by heart. I only had to resume here and there to prompt her along. She teared up at the emotion of expressing this prayer, and I saw the others brushing off their own tears. And as I was engaged with this task, I thought about how odd and how glorious it was that we could transcend language and religion and nationality and race to provide this salvation of release and of God’s comforting closeness.

9 thoughts on “The Rosary And The Rabbi

  1. John Dieker says:

    Karen, what a beautiful expression of compassion and heartfelt love. You were willing to enter her world to minister life to her regardless of difference of beliefs. That’s amazing. Thanks for sharing. I


  2. Neal Martin says:

    Karen, This was a beautiful start to our day! Your hospice work is indeed holy.


  3. rabbiadar says:

    Sometimes when there is suffering we have to be present with compassion and let the Holy One sort out the words. Chazak chazak my friend.


  4. Consuelo Beck Sague says:

    So I really, really needed that, although of course, I did not realize that it was precisely what I needed. It’s always what I need. Bendita tu eres, entre todas las mujers, Rabbi. Ahora y siempre, por los siglos de los siglos… I’m happy to say… Amen.


  5. Louie says:

    Beautiful story,…..extraordinary writing,……..


  6. Consuelo Beck Sague says:

    Eres lo mejor. Lo máximo. Gracias a dios por ti.


  7. […] And If I may add, many of the points in Rabbi Resnicoff’s article which I reprinted July 2nd, 2017, are relevant to health care chaplains in this regard too. In The Rosary and the Rabbi I show how I struggled to strike a balance between serving a patient of a different religion and maintaining my own integrity: […]


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