I based this dark humor short story on what one of my hospice patients actually did:
Retired go-go dancer and hospice patient Victoria kept her spirits up by upending people’s assumptions, and the more she mixed people up the better. She startled even the most jaded staff when she announced she was using a dating app. Without revealing that she lived in a hospice residence, she wrote in her profile, “Short-term relationship highly desirable with freewheeling man attracted to the unexpected.” (She smiled and snickered as she wrote that.)
Retired antiques salesman Nathan, looking for a mutual carefree romp, felt he found the right match when he chanced upon Victoria’s profile. Her suggestive comment about men looking for novelties did the trick. He responded, “You mischievous gal! You sound like my type,” and straightaway offered to meet her at the address she gave. Her eyes gleaming with sweet victory, she wrote back yes.
As he neared what he took to be an apartment building, he saw a sign up front that read “Heavenly Hospice” in the most welcoming lettering possible. He stopped dead in his tracks, and wanted to sprint back to his car from that house of horrors. But he did not have it in him to break a promise, even though he was less than exemplary in other ways when it came to romance.
He got buzzed in and fearfully made his way to her room, located–wouldn’t you know it–all the way down at the very end of the hallway. The door to her room was closed, and as he put his ear to it, he could hear sighing and one deep breath after another. He said to himself, “Is this poor thing already drawing her last breaths? Is it already too late for that ‘short-term fling’ Victoria hinted at?”
He was too late, but not because of that. A male nurse had succumbed to her charms just as Nathan was forming his first seductive imaginings during his hurried drive over.
Which part of the story do you think is true? Do you think you will act like Victoria in your last months? For more of my writing, both micro-fiction and micro-nonfiction, see me at https://twitter.com/chaplainkkaplan